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Financial Trauma
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My mother used to work 12- to 14-hour days when I was a kid since she was raised in an age where long hours were seen as a sign of dedication and a strong character. Her adult life has been spent following in the footsteps of those who came before her, including her parents. When I was a youngster, my sister and I would see our mother get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning, leave the house at 6:00 a.m. for work, and return home at approximately 7:00 p.m. It also meant that we didn’t get to spend as much time with my mum as we would have liked. She never made it to any of our sporting activities. In response to my questions about whether she would make it to my track meet, she would always say, “No, I’m going to work.”
Financial Trauma
I hated seeing her work so many hours but seeing her do it drilled into my head that this was the only way I could provide for my family. This allowed me to complete my Ph.D. while holding down a full-time job and contracting six hours a day as a school social worker… all while married. I was drained and depleted of any remaining energy.
However, why did I believe that was okay? Even though I wasn’t aware of it, I had been living my life based on the premise that money was never enough and that if I didn’t “grind and hustle,” I would end up broke. Unfortunately, this is the opinion of a large majority of people, and as a result, many of us have adopted an equally painful way of life.
What do you mean when you say “financial trauma”?
According to a study done by research psychologist Dr. Galen Buckwalter in 2016, personality traits and financial decisions go hand in hand. Findings from his research show that one in four Americans suffer from financial post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, such as irritation, self-destructive behaviour, and isolation when confronted with the reality of financial stressors.
Adults may suffer from financial trauma for a variety of reasons, including a history of income loss, a lack of savings, a large amount of debt, getting evicted, divorce, financial abuse in a relationship, and more. Even as adults, we are moulded by our early experiences. My point of view was shaped by what was spoken to me and what I saw, as well as what I overheard my mother say about her thoughts on money (principally not having enough). Why do you think your adult financial habits were formed when you were raised on a certain set of values and principles?
How does it show up in the world?
Everyone may be affected by financial hardship, regardless of whether or not they were born into a wealthy family. Here are some warning signals to be on the lookout for:
- Aversion. A few examples of this kind of abstinence include refusing to look at bank statements or open invoices. As a consequence, many avoid discussing money because they find it too upsetting to even think about it.
- Expenditures that are excessive. Essentially, this is spending money that you don’t have, no matter how big or little the transaction is. The lack of a budget is a common occurrence among many of my customers. Making a decision and sticking to it is critical.
- Absence of restrictions. Giving away your services or goods for free, loan money when you can’t pay it back, and charging too little or not asking for more money are all typical instances of this trait. For both mental and financial wellness, it’s crucial to recognize and appreciate your own unique qualities and abilities.
- Holding on to money so tightly that you don’t position yourself for development is a symptom of underspending, which is a result of a worry of not being able to generate more money or of seeing your finances from a point of scarcity. You’ve worked hard for your money, and you deserve to put it to good use. Don’t let it become a source of stagnation in your life.
Getting over the financial adversity
There are many ways to begin the process of healing from any kind of trauma, and here are a few suggestions:
- Understand that your existing connection with money isn’t helping you achieve your financial goals.
- For the first time, it is possible to effectively analyze your requirements after acknowledging that you desire and deserve better As a person who wants to grow, you must be willing to let go of old habits that don’t serve you.
- It’s time for a change in how you see your finances. Do you want the freedom to treat yourself to anything you desire? To set a weekly or monthly budget for saving? Is it possible to set limits on the amount of self-sacrifice you are willing to do in order to care for others? Finding happiness is about focusing on yourself, not on what others think of your choices.
- Seek the advice of a professional. Working with a mental health expert who specializes in healing trauma is something I strongly suggest you do in addition to or in addition to working with a financial specialist. Insidious trauma may affect so many aspects of our lives as adults, including who we are as people, how we think, how we relate to others, and how we treat ourselves.
- Assuming this is the case, you’ve been functioning for some time out of pain. Not only will it be beneficial to have a group of people by your side while you go through your recovery, but you’ll also avoid having to do it all on your own.
Key Points
One in four Americans suffers from financial trauma, such as irritation, self-destructive behaviour, and isolation when confronted with financial stressors. According to a study done by research psychologist Dr. Galen Buckwalter, personality traits and financial decisions go hand in hand. Adults may suffer from financial trauma for a variety of reasons, including a history of income loss or a lack of savings. Here are some warning signals to be on the lookout for. Avoid avoiding discussing money because you find it too upsetting to think about.
Overspending is a symptom of underspending, which is a result of worry about not generating more money. It’s time for a change in how you see your finances. Do you want the freedom to treat yourself to anything you desire? Is it possible to set limits on the amount of self-sacrifice you are willing to do in order to care for others? Seek the advice of a professional who specializes in healing trauma.
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